Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

We played a show the other night and it went really well. Well, kind of...

We played at a place called Tula's in Belltown. I guess a few months ago some band had a show there and they basically packed the place out. The bar, which is actually a jazz bar, decided to do late night punk rock shows from then on. (Two bands - midnight to 1:30a)

Besides, how many people are going to stay in a jazz bar after 11, anyway? Why not do a punk show and try to get a few more people in?

Well... I... Uh...

The unfortunate thing is it's in Belltown - the hub of CFM pumps and push-up bras. (Not that I've got anything against that, mind you. Especially if the girl is cute, Asian, and shit-faced.) And the promotion for the shows are almost nil. Not even a sign out front saying, "Punk Rock Here TONITE!"

Not to really bitch about that. It's always good to have a live practice in front of the other band (who are basically your friends), and the staff - who liked you enough to give you thirty-five bucks for playing to no one and drinking their beer for free.

But the funny part was actually before the show.

Me and Zack went to park the car and couldn't find a place so we called a "fuck it" and went to the lot. As we pulled in and started to back into a spot this girl came running up to the car and said, "Wait! Are you guys gonna park? We're leaving early and this is good until 7a, you can use it." That was totally cool - and she was hot! And she was Asian! Oh be still my heart!

I stepped out and had Zack park the car into the tight spot 'cause he's good at those things. But as we we're readying some asshole in one of those first-generation minivans was laying on his horn like he needed to get home before he lost his erection and wouldn't have anymore of a chance to yankee his wanky.

He had plenty of room to go in the other direction, but he was insistent on doing it his way. Fine...

So we moved, and we waited. His engine revved. He stuck it in gear and WHAM! Right into the car in front of him! I started to laugh my ass off. The I heard his engine rev harder and harder. I was thinking, hoping, that he had locked bumpers with the guy. I almost pissed my pants, laughing as I was sprawled over the hood of the car in the next stall.

Then I heard the click of the gear changing - finally he figured how to put his car into reverse, and he pulled out faster than a (add sexual innuendo here).

Unfortunately he left barely a mark. Oh! And I had his license plate and everything!

Yet, I digress...

Lee Daniels’s PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL “PUSH” BY SAPPHIRE is a vibrant, honest and resoundingly hopeful film about the human capacity to grow and overcome.

Set in Harlem in 1987, it is the story of Claireece “Precious” Jones (Gabourey Sidibe), a sixteen-year-old African-American girl born into a life no one would want. She’s pregnant for the second time by her absent father; at home, she must wait hand and foot on her mother (Mo’Nique), a poisonously angry woman who abuses her emotionally and physically.

School is a place of chaos, and Precious has reached the ninth grade with good marks and an awful secret: she can neither read nor write. Precious may sometimes be down, but she is never out.

Beneath her impassive expression is a watchful, curious young woman with an inchoate but unshakeable sense that other possibilities exist for her. Threatened with expulsion, Precious is offered the chance to transfer to an alternative school, Each One/Teach One. Precious doesn’t know the meaning of “alternative,” but her instincts tell her this is the chance she has been waiting for. In the literacy workshop taught by the patient yet firm Ms. Rain (Paula Patton), Precious begins a journey that will lead her from darkness, pain and powerlessness to light, love and self-determination. --© Lionsgate

THIS is a film that should win the Academy Award - hands down.

Admittedly, I haven't seen all of the films up for best movie, but of those I have seen they don't even come close comparing to this.

The casting director pulled people out from where you'd never think to put them. As you watch it you end up coming to the realization that, "Hey - isn't that Mo'Nique? Isn't that Mariah Carey? Fuck me! That's Lenny Kravitz?!?" But they all pull the movie along without you hanging on the fact that they are that person. It really is the character that holds the film.

And they pulled out an unknown in Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe to take the roll of Precious. They couldn't have found anyone better. I say that because if they pulled in someone we all knew we'd be watching the actor as that actor. Will they, can they pull it off? As an unknown she can push it all out there without us being stuck on the celebrity. (Just as how they brought Mo'Nique, Mariah Carey, and Lenny Kravitz out of their regular known region to put them in a new light.)

And it's the first time a movie made me bawl like a baby in a long time.

As the end credits rolled I unfortunately saw that it was produced by Oprah. YEESH! It's a good thing that they didn't stick that in the preview 'cause that would have been a deal breaker for me. Fuck Oprah! But who knows... The director was the producer for Monster's Ball - one of my favorite movies. (And not just 'cause Halle Berry gets nekkid....)

I'm going to find the people who vote on the films and kick their asses for even putting a film like Avatar even on the list. Cocksuckers!

This film gets an A-plus! Especially because the popcorn was perfectly buttered and they had Dr. Pepper's little brother Mr. Pibb.