Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Crazy Heart

Well, most of you know where I stand on religion. Right on top of its head.

Actually, I just don't believe in a Big Bad God watching over everything. If you can prove it to me - and I mean scientifically prove it to me - I haven't got much of a reason to believe it.

I've been asked what I think happens after I die? I don't know.
Is there a heaven? I highly doubt it. But if there is, I hope there's soft serve ice cream.
Is there a hell? You're lookin' at it, baby!

To be more succinct, I belong to the church of I Don't Know.
Who the fuck knows?

Was there a Jesus?
Hell if I know. Could be. But the book goes from baby to 30 years-old in just a few pages. Maybe during all that time he was getting his apprenticeship done so he could join the Carpenter's Union Local 1.

I'm not even going to go into all the contradictory shit that's in there. Just make sure you don't eat that shrimp cocktail.

Then there's the argument of 'What if I'm right and you're wrong?'
What if I am? Is God going to throw me into a pit of fire because I didn't believe, but I was proven wrong?
I've got math problems wrong, but nobody snuffed out their cigarettes on my arm.

Besides, if you're right and believe you're going to heaven and I'm going to hell goes against a couple of tenants, doesn't it? "I'm better than you are!" And if you're doing it to make sure you're not going to hell is a bit disingenuous and selfish, don'cha think?

An even better question is, what if I'm right and you're wrong?

My psalm: Don't kick the shit out of each other. (And no aiming for the balls.)

I'd also like for us to all learn from the Book of Job:

Crazy Heart

Synopsis: Four-time Academy Award® nominee JEFF BRIDGES stars as the richly comic, semi-tragic romantic anti-hero Bad Blake in the debut feature film CRAZY HEART from writer-director Scott Cooper. Bad Blake is a broken-down, hard-living country music singer who's had way too many marriages, far too many years on the road and one too many drinks way too many times. And yet, Bad can’t help but reach for salvation with the help of Jean (Golden Globe® nominee MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL), a journalist who discovers the real man behind the musician. As he struggles down the road of redemption, Bad learns the hard way just how tough life can be on one man’s crazy heart. --© Fox Searchlight

I read that this movie takes a story that we've seen and takes a twist to make it an exceptional film.


This is a movie that takes a story we had seen before and...makes a movie that we've seen before.

Broken down, alcoholic, once famous country singer who sleeps with every woman at the bowling alley music lounge, finds love and then ruins it by his drinking, but then... Blah, blah, blah...

Not that it's a bad film. It's just not exceptional. Especially to be considered for an Oscar.

People keep praising Jeff Bridges role in the film, and I'll admit that he is good - BUT - to me it looks like he's doing a cross pollination of Kris Kristofferson and "The Dude" from Big Loebowsky. Good, but unexceptional.

You have to thank god that it does have that hybrid, though. If it was played more in a Kris Kistofferson way I'd've shot myself in the head about thirty minutes in. The lighter moments hold The Dude aspect in it to save himself from agonizingly self indulgent, boredom. And at times, in spite if the lighter moments, it walks awfully close to the cliff. Too close for my taste.

I just kept watching Maggie Gyllenhaal and thinking that she was cute. Would you like me to expound? Okay, I will. Okay, finished.

So there you have it.

The popcorn was well buttered, and there was less educated brother of the doctor, Mr. Pibb.

My rating:
Matinee - I guess so...
Evening - Too expensive (especially if you add in the price of the 'corn and collee pop)
Drive In - Y'know, it might actually work


  1. But where is your Crazy Heart review? :)

    I'll email you my zombie-Jesus theory. Which doesn't always go over so well at my church but at least my pastor thinks it's interesting.

  2. Glad to read your review. I like Bridges but when I watched the preview I didn't feel compelled to watch the movie. What you wrote sounds like what I presumed I'd feel after seeing Crazy-dude.